Pill Pusher

Everything is bright red
And I've fallen to my knees
Stop the screaming in my head
Somebody help me please
These pills are more than I can handle
They're not helping like you said
But you still insist I take them
Wish you could see inside my head
Because you haven't got
The slightest clue
Of what the fuck
I'm going through
I'd like to see
How well you'd handle it
Because it seems
Like you don't give a shit
You've tried nothing
But you think you know what's going on
By the time you take things seriously
I'll already be long gone
You think that I can do so much,
I just need to be strong
But I have been strong, You don't fucking know!
And I've been brave all along!
I can't hold on forever though
I just can't do it anymore
My wrists are weak, and I'm so tired
My body's rotten to the core
I just want this to be over
I just want it to go away
I can't stay here anymore
I can't just watch myself decay
I needed someone,
I was lost and I was scared
I had nobody to turn to
I was a mess
And I came to you for help
And what the fuck did you do?
You shoved some more pills
Down my throat
And told me to go home
Now won't you feel bad
When you hear about the suicide note
That I wrote when you left me alone....




~ashley carver