literature

Jealousy

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ash-interrupted's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

I wish I had it all,
Wish I could be like you,
I wish everyone would admire
Every little thing I do
When you walk into a room,
Every head turns your way
But when I even try to speak,
No one hears a word I say
I'm off in the corner
Sitting by myself
Just a worthless tattered doll
Left on a dusty shelf
I'm only here
To make you look good
And I'd break your pretty face
If I could
Your perfect body,
Your long blonde hair,
The life you live,
Its isn't fair
Your tiny waist
And your DD's
I'm right infront of him
But you're all he sees
Your long legs, blue eyes,
And your perfect smile
When I think of you
The feeling's vile
But only because,
I know it's true...

He'll never look at me,

The way he looks at you...



~ashley carver
...
© 2004 - 2024 ash-interrupted
Comments126
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OritPetra's avatar
I know this feeling too, and it's definitely not a nice one. :no: :hug:

The rhythm you have going in this is really fantastic. The only thing I could suggest is to perhaps punctuate with periods to make things flow a little better/quicker. Most of the time it's not an issue but it really tripped me up and broke the rhythm here:

And I'd break your pretty face
If I could
Your perfect body,


It took me a few seconds to figure this out. At first I thought it should read "If I could have / your perfect body," but then realised that "If I could" went with the previous line.

But that's a really minor and nitpicky issue in an otherwise great piece! :heart: :cuddle: