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I wish I had it all,
Wish I could be like you,
I wish everyone would admire
Every little thing I do
When you walk into a room,
Every head turns your way
But when I even try to speak,
No one hears a word I say
I'm off in the corner
Sitting by myself
Just a worthless tattered doll
Left on a dusty shelf
I'm only here
To make you look good
And I'd break your pretty face
If I could
Your perfect body,
Your long blonde hair,
The life you live,
Its isn't fair
Your tiny waist
And your DD's
I'm right infront of him
But you're all he sees
Your long legs, blue eyes,
And your perfect smile
When I think of you
The feeling's vile
But only because,
I know it's true...

He'll never look at me,

The way he looks at you...



~ashley carver
...
Add a Comment:
 
:iconoritpetra:
OritPetra Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010   Writer
I know this feeling too, and it's definitely not a nice one. :no: :hug:

The rhythm you have going in this is really fantastic. The only thing I could suggest is to perhaps punctuate with periods to make things flow a little better/quicker. Most of the time it's not an issue but it really tripped me up and broke the rhythm here:

And I'd break your pretty face
If I could
Your perfect body,


It took me a few seconds to figure this out. At first I thought it should read "If I could have / your perfect body," but then realised that "If I could" went with the previous line.

But that's a really minor and nitpicky issue in an otherwise great piece! :heart: :cuddle:
Reply
:iconthe-photographicpoet:
the-photographicpoet Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Hello there, your art: work has been featured in The A,B,C's of Literature: J

I hope you like the feature and please show your support by :+fav:ing the article :)

Thank you very much
Sammie
:butterfly:
Reply
:iconviralenvy:
ViralEnvy Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
This is fantastic!
Reply
:iconfuel-the-fire:
fuel-the-fire Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2010
Red hair, not blonde. :/ at least in my case.
Reply
:iconred-kyuubi:
red-kyuubi Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know I'm like... 5 years late, but this made my jaw drop! Bravo! :jawdrop:
Reply
:iconpiggaletto:
Piggaletto Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
awesome :+fav: the person im jealous of has long blonde hair and blue eyes..... : \
she's a bitch

lol
Reply
:icon44e:
44e Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2008
omg that's so how I feel right now!! awesome poem.. :D
Reply
:iconsmehuranka:
smehuranka Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2008
its very good honestly
Reply
:icondriventochaos:
DrivenToChaos Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
I really know how you feel. Thats such a powerful piece of poetry. *faves* amazingly written
Reply
:iconderkleinefreak:
DerKleineFreak Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2008
bloody hell ... i think this is my favourite .. i couldn't have said all that a better way, but it's something i feel everyday and i'm so sick of it ... you know, all those pretty people (who call themselves my "friends" btw) always need someone ugly to compare with and see, they're so much prettier than them ... i'm so sick of being someone like that.
Reply
:iconxx-jazzii-xx:
xx-Jazzii-xx Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2007
wow that is absoulutely FANTASTIC it kinda captures how im feeling at the moment
Reply
:iconhypnelia:
hypnelia Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2007
wow,it surely expresses lots of people..
Reply
:iconiheartmyart:
IHeartMyArt Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2007
amazing.

you have captured how i feel about someone in just a few lines...

wow...love it
Reply
:iconrhev:
Rhev Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2007
Just another it what seems to be a long line of compliments, but, wow! That is intense!
Reply
:iconnhiasian:
NhiAsian Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2007   Digital Artist
I just love this poem, it give me the chills xD,
It kinda reminds me when I got jealous because how my boyfriend felt about his ex when it wasn't true how he really felt D;
Reply
:icongoudlokje:
goudlokje Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
beautiful :D
Reply
:iconuncopyrightedvinegar:
uncopyrightedvinegar Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2007  Hobbyist Artist
Beautiful :)
Reply
:iconseiken-sama:
Seiken-Sama Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2007
Really beautifull... my heart skipped a beat... I know how you feel... most of my life I had that feeling too
Reply
:iconstars-and-pumpkins:
stars-and-pumpkins Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2006
Absolutely beautifuly expressed. :star:
Reply
:iconunlovedpoet:
UnLoVeDpOeT Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2005
Wow i love it so much, definately a faveourite! Omg did i tell you i got an A on that english thing i used you for? Well i did so thank you sooooo much -hug-
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
aww thanks hon, that's great!:glomp:
Reply
:iconunlovedpoet:
UnLoVeDpOeT Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2005
It's because of you're great artisticness =)
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww::smooch:
Reply
:iconlullabies:
lullabies Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2005
wow, this is a really great poem, my favourite out of the ones you posted thumbs of. the topic is just so relatable and you express your emotions incredibly well. i really hope you keep writing, and if you could, drop me a line when you post something new :)
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much:cuddle: I don't think I'll be able to remember to drop you a line everytime I submit something lol if you want to keep an eye on my work, it'd probably be easiest just to add me to your friends list:)
Reply
:iconlullabies:
lullabies Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2005
hmmk, cool :aww:
Reply
:iconmangohooka:
mangohooka Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2005
I really like this topic and you did it very well. After reading three of your works now, I really wish I could see you get out of your comfort zone and write about something other than yourself or someone else. I have some writing exercises if you are interested (I lead a creative writing workshop)
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much for your comments:hug: I would love to participate in your writing exercises, I haven't been able to write a thing lately:disbelief:
Reply
:iconmangohooka:
mangohooka Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2005
No problem! Here is what I think you should try:

Blank Canvas

You need to find a large piece of white paper and get about 3 CDs.. maybe your parents stuff.. that you personally don't listen to. Instrumental songs turn out great results but it is not the most important aspect. Then, sit down some place very quiet and turn on the music to a decent volume. In front of you should be a large piece of white paper.. poster board is the best but use what you can. Have a notebook in your lap, and as soon as the music starts to play, start writing. Write all of the images you project on the blank canvas using the music as your muse. You shouldn't think about rhyming or anything. This is a free verse exercise. If you start thinking to much about what you are writing.. stop and take a couple minutes. I would do 3 songs from three different CDs, that way you have different inspirations for each piece.

*no angry, sad, overly-any-emotion stuff* The passion needs to come from you and the music is just there to guide it. Give it a try and let me know.. if you want.. post it in scraps and I can comment on it
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you:glomp:
Reply
:icontimberwolvesatnj:
timberwolvesatNJ Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2004
ugh.....i feel ya...i know exactly wutchur sayin..great poem
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you:)
Reply
:icontimberwolvesatnj:
timberwolvesatNJ Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2004
your welcome.
Reply
:icondavidawarren:
davidAwarren Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2004  Student Traditional Artist
"And I'd break your pretty face
If I could"

I would throw "only" in there, after the "If I"
I think it just fits in well there for some reason.
:+fav:
-david
Reply
:icond4rk-j3st3r:
D4rk-J3st3r Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2004
^^; you got to admit though we are all like that even you (both the jelous one and the object of the jelous one....)

But i love it as always you can feel and see your poems as opposed to just reading them....very nice
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much, and thank you for the watch:hug:
Reply
:icond4rk-j3st3r:
D4rk-J3st3r Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2004
eh no problem
Reply
:iconfjollemis:
Fjollemis Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2004
Wow I am once again impressed by the work you do. Really touched me, hehe you make me want to say that, "Hey you shouldn't worry, when you can write something like this, you most be a beautiful person, to bad for him, he can't see that." though I know not if its about yourself and that isn't either any of my business, but just in case. :)
Reply
:iconmtlv:
MTLV Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
again nice work the line "I wish I had it all,
Wish I could be like you,
I wish everyone would admire
Every little thing I do" kind of reminds me of my poem ego driven ;)
Reply
:iconladygalad:
ladygalad Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2004  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
mmm This could be better. It has good rhythm, but it ends up just sounding cliched in parts. You could use better imagery. I like the cattyness you get across though.
Reply
:iconapatheticemotions:
ApatheticEmotions Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2004   Writer
AWESOME... I feel that way about some one right about now... haha.. Shitty feelings ... :-/ .. your a wonderful writer... Ill be watching you :-)
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you:hug:
Reply
:icondevilskitty:
DevilsKitty Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2004
wow this one is amazing! this is a great poem i really liked this one!
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks hun:D
Reply
:iconlifedrinker:
lifedrinker Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2004   Photographer
i've felt like this before :heart: :heart: :+favlove:
Reply
:iconhavok-15:
HaVoK-15 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2004
its funny ive been checking your work periodiclly and ive liked it....but then i was searching for new work and i found this to be featured by DA. so i checked it out and it turned out to be yours. this is amazingly pure...and i think thats what draws the attraction. its down to earth and real. its waht every gurl expeirences and you captured every momment of the pain. any poem about teh same thing wouldnt be close to par. you have got every word down and they would just be stealing your idea. this is amazing. and im proud of you.....cause ive watched you and i know you must be jumping for fucking joy over this. thats alot of faves.
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww:thanks sweety, I'm glad you like it:hug:
Reply
:iconvampireofdeath:
vampireofdeath Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2004
that os like so preatty! that poems relates to me and my sister! i swear! its so beautiful! nice work!!!!\
Reply
:iconkitolia:
Kitolia Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2004
Great job! I love this! Flows very well. :+fav: :D
Reply
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