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Broken Promises,
Lie after lie
All I ever wanted
Was for you to try

Broken dreams,
And memories
Pain so deep
That no one sees

Broken heart,
I can't repair
All I ever wanted
Was for you to care
Did the poem and the art both tonight.

The girl in the photo is me and the original photo will be in my stock gallery soon.

Brushes and Stock used


B R O K E N

Broken Promises,
Lie after lie
All I ever wanted
Was for you to try

Broken dreams,
And memories
Pain so deep
That no one sees

Broken heart,
I can't repair
All I ever wanted
Was for you to care
Add a Comment:
 
:iconxselenaraex:
xselenaraex Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2008
love it
Reply
:iconlove-runner:
love-runner Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2008
Wow...this is emotional. Very nice shot. I really do love.
Reply
:iconpsychoslaughterman:
PsychoSlaughterman Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2007  Professional General Artist
i love both the picture and your writing
Reply
:iconmistyvision:
mistyvision Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2006
sad, i like it a lot
Reply
:iconjasje-joes:
jasje-joes Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2006   Traditional Artist
*sniffle*
Reply
:iconmykemicalfailur:
Mykemicalfailur Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006
=( so sad. But I love it. Very nice. :clap:
Reply
:iconwishfull-sin:
wishfull-sin Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2006
i like it, no i love it... simple yet so complicated, can really feel the emotions...
Reply
:iconkillumall:
killumall Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
I kind of agree with ~milpalabras, there.
You've got:
talent.
a great subject.
rhyming skill.
a sense of rhythm.
In my opinion, make your lines a bit longer to bring out the rhythm. Think it out more. A great subject, but it seems kinda like only a surface brush on the feelings. Think of some metaphors or analogies.
I'm tellin you this because I see an okay poem that could be excellent.
Work on it! :clap: a good beginning!
Reply
:iconkillumall:
killumall Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
sorry, i realize that. great art on the piece, btw. :P
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks, I probably shoud've submitted it as art instead of poetry, they were both done in about 10 minutes each. I just wrote the poem quick because I needed something to go with the art lol.
Reply
:iconcorrupted-debbie:
Corrupted-Debbie Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2006   Photographer
Ive been there before. Great Work.
Reply
:iconcrissy-lynn:
Crissy-lynn Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
awesome can so identify with this.
Reply
:iconshes-not-who-i-seem:
shes-not-who-i-seem Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2006
Very, very nice...I really do like it. I hope you make more like it^^
Reply
:icondontneedthis:
DontNeedThis Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2006
wow, i really love boththe art and the poem- wow.
beautiful.
Reply
:iconm-rose:
M-Rose Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2006
Beautiful.
Reply
:icondeviliciousbash:
DeviliciousBash Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2006
Great Poem ..i loved it!
Reply
:iconluigi298:
luigi298 Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2006
this is a great poem! and the pic is amazing! you do amazing work and you capture exacly how i feel.
Reply
:iconsatanssporn:
SatansSporn Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2006
this is exacty how i feel at the moment! i love the poem and you ish a very pretty girl :D good job :D
Reply
:iconmilpalabras:
milpalabras Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2006
This was a very shallow piece in my opinion. You're so caught up in your own feelings that you're not really getting the situation across to me. Who are you talking about, what happened? You can't just say oh this is how I feel. You might as well write a haiku and use the word sad three times than to spew out stuff like this.

My advice: you obviously have a thing when it comes to rhyme, so try and broaden your horizons when it comes to diction. Use different words and make the rhymes and the lines more unique. And don't always stick to one exact structure.
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
it doesn't matter who I'm talking about or what exactly happened. Sometimes I don't want to share the entire story, I like to write things in a way that I understand fully and other readers can relate to however they want.
This is just a quick and simple poem, I agree. I didn't spend more than 5 or 10 minutes writing it. It's not my best piece, sorry to disappoint you :p
Reply
:iconimmigrantsong:
ImmigrantSong Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006
that's deep sister, makes me feel shallow.
Reply
:iconunforgiven-soul:
Unforgiven-soul Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006   Writer
jaw droppingly stunning ..i'm completely aww stuck and speechless this peiece is amazing!
Reply
:iconsilkyangel:
SilkyAngel Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006
this is something that everyone can relate to. very nicely done. cos i know ive felt that way more times then i should have.
Reply
:iconesopoemface:
esopoemface Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006  Student Writer
artfully done, i suppose thats a redundant statement, but i love the clarity... it strikes to the heart of things
Reply
:iconchucky-larms:
chucky-larms Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006
i love it. coincidentally, it's exactly how i feel right now :shakefist:

good job!!!
Reply
:iconjay--x:
Jay--x Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006
:heart: love teh art work AND the poetry. So very beautiful.
Reply
:iconskinnylittleschizo:
skinnylittleschizo Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks!
Reply
:iconloganforever:
Loganforever Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. I love it, its sad. Makes you want to cry.
Reply
:iconbansheegrrl:
bansheegrrl Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2006  Student Traditional Artist
i can relate to this
Reply
:iconconcretevision:
ConcreteVision Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2006
It's quite short, but it gets the message across. I like it, and I think I can feel some of your pain, although I won't get into that. Very well done:D
Reply
:icondrugdoc:
drugdoc Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2006
Definitely a good one. Why does an artist's best work have to occur when we hurt the most?
Reply
:iconcaliban-krono:
Caliban-Krono Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2006
Hey this would be a dead ringer for how I'm feelin right now.As cold and morbid as it sounds,It's nice to know I'm not the only one this planet shit on recently.Sorry if you're upset though.I don't think anybody really deserves any of the shit everyone seems to be so fond of pulling as of late.
Reply
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